About the hooch

I was born in Oketo
Kansas. And we was poor…everyone in Oketo was poor. I soon figgered
out even the poor have a pecking order. My best friend was
a really poor trashy kid named Neal who always got beat up at the school
bus stop.

In the 10th grade
I decided I just had to get out. I needed the bright lights and big city
livin I had always heard about on Jerry Springer. Even though I hated
to leave my Ma, Floyd (my Ma’s 4th……no, 5th husband) and 10 brothers
and sisters, I knew the big time was calling me and when I gradeated I
ran. I ran all the way to Cawker City.

I am a Part-time beautification consultint at the downtown Cawker City
Wal-mart. And although that is a challenging and very rewarding career
I still have many more dreams and plans for my life.

My hobbies include…
Chattin’ (Ma says I chat so much I should get my own show. Says I could
be the next Opera if I really wanted to) and taxidermy. Livin right off
the main highway affords me lots of critters to practice on.

My true calling is
Interior Trailer Decorator. I saved up money to take night classes at
the Adult Trade School and already have learned so much.

Did you know that
adding a few of those Yellow Bug lights adds a nice golden color to a
room, and highlights the wood paneling? Or, Harvest Gold is the best appliance
color next to Rust. Or lining your stove backsplash with Reynolds Wrap
Foil will help save time with clean up? Amazing huh?

After I get my career all established I can then concentrate on getting
hitched and having babies. Afterall a woman aint truly complete without
a man and babies. Oh…..and a double wide.

Thats all for now but before I go let me leave you with these words of
wisdom……If a tornado warning is given, leave your mobil home and seek
shelter. Or do what I always do………….lie flat in a ditch and watch
out for the flying cows.

Chow for now.

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